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Urukundo:Kudategana amatwi kw’abashakanye INTANDARO y'intonganya z’urudaca

by http://urukundo.info

Urukundo:Kudategana amatwi kw’abashakanye INTANDARO y'intonganya z’urudaca
Kudaha umwanya uwo mwashakanye ngo akubwire ikimuri ku mutima, yagira n’icyo avuga ntumuhe umwanya ngo akirangiza, bituma habaho intonganya z’urudaca. Kwiyubaha no kubaha uwo mubana niyo nkingi yo kubaka urugo rurangwa n’amahoro.

Uwo mwashakanye arakubwiye ati “ntujya unyumva…” aho kumuha umwanya ngo akubwire uburyo utamwumva ahubwo utangiye kumwuka inabi , ibi bituma abantu bahora mu ntonganya.

Nubwo byaba bimeze bityo akanyamakuru Réveillez-vous kerekana ko kwirinda ayo makimbirane bishoboka. Kugira ngo ubigereho, ugomba kubanza gusobanukirwa impamvu hari ibintu by’ingenzi uwo mwashakanye avuga ariko ntubyumve nubwo waba wibwira ko wamuteze amatwi.

Ni iki gituma bamwe mu bashanye badatega amatwi bagenzi babo?

Kurangara no kunanirwa: Reka tuvuge ko abana barimo basakuza na televiziyo isakuza, kandi ukaba urimo utekereza ku kibazo wahuye na cyo ku kazi. Noneho uwo mwashakanye atangiye kukuvugisha, akubwira ko hari abantu bari bubasure kuri uwo mugoroba. Uhise wikiriza, uti “nta kibazo.” Ariko se koko ibyo akubwiye urabyumvise? Birashoboka ko utabyumvise.

Gufata ibintu uko bitari: Ibi ni ibintu biteje akaga abenshi bakunze kwita “gutekerereza umuntu.” Bibaho iyo uwo mwashakanye akubwiye ikintu ugahita wibwira ko hari ikindi cyihishe inyuma y’ibyo akubwiye, nyamara mu by’ukuri ari wowe ushobora kuba urimo ukabiriza ibintu.

Urugero: Reka tuvuge ko uwo mwashakanye akubwiye ati “iki cyumweru wamaze igihe kirekire ukora amasaha y’ikirenga.” Kubera ko wumvise ko arimo akunenga, uhise umubwira uti “si wowe ubitera se? Ngomba gukora amasaha y’ikirenga bitewe n’uko usesagura amafaranga.” Uwo mwashakanye arakubwiye ati “humura sinashakaga kuvuga ko ibyo ukora ari bibi.” Ahubwo nashakaga kugusaba ko twasohokana mu mpera z’icyumweru.

Wihutira gushaka umuti w’ikibazo: Umugore witwa Marcie wavuganye n’aka kanyamakuru dukesha iyi nkuru ati “hari igihe mba nshaka gusa kuvuga uko merewe, ariko Mike (umugabo we) agahita ambwira uko nakemura icyo kibazo. Nyamara jye si byo mba nshaka. Mba nifuza gusa ko amenya uko merewe.”

Urumva ikibazo Mike afite ari ikihe? Yihutira gushaka umuti w’ikibazo. Ibyo bizatuma atumva bimwe mu byo Marcie amubwira, cyangwa ntagire n’icyo yumva.

Icyo wakora ngo ubashe gutega amatwi uwo mwashakanye

Jya utega amatwi witonze: Ese iyo hari ikintu cy’ingenzi uwo mwashakanye ashaka kukubwira, uba witeguye kumutega amatwi? Ushobora kuba utabyiteguye. Ubwenge bwawe bushobora kuba buri ahandi. Niba ari uko bimeze, ntugashake kumwereka ko umuteze amatwi, kandi atari ko bimeze. Niba bishoboka, reka ibyo wakoraga maze umutege amatwi witonze, cyangwa se umusabe kwihangana gato kugeza igihe uri bube witeguye kumutega amatwi.

Kumvikana ni ipfundo ry'umunezero usasuye ku bashakanye

Jya ubanza utege amatwi, hanyuma ubone kugira icyo uvuga: Mu gihe uteze amatwi uwo mwashakanye, ujye wirinda kumuca mu ijambo cyangwa kumuvuguruza. Nawe uba uri bugire igihe cyo kuvuga. Icyo uba usabwa icyo gihe ni ukumutega amatwi gusa.

Jya ubaza ibibazo: Kubaza ibibazo bituma urushaho kumva ibyo uwo mwashakanye ashaka kuvuga.

Jya wibanda ku butumwa aho kwibanda ku magambo: Jya uzirikana icyo ashaka kuvuga binyuze ku bimenyetso by’umubiri, amaso n’ijwi akoresha. Uwo mwashakanye ashobora kukubwira ati “ni byiza,” nyamara ashaka kuvuga ngo “si byiza” bitewe n’uko abivuze. Ashobora kukubwira ati “nta na rimwe ujya umfasha,” nyamara ashaka kuvuga ngo “numva nsa n’aho nta gaciro mfite imbere yawe.”

Jya ugerageza gutahura icyo ashatse kuvuga nubwo yaba atari cyo avuze: Naho ubundi, wazasanga mukunda kujya impaka ku magambo yakoresheje, aho kwibanda ku cyo yashakaga kumvikanisha.

Ntukarambirwe kumutega amatwi: Ntukajye ugaragaza ko utamwitayeho cyangwa ngo wigendere, kabone n’iyo ibyo avuga byaba bitagushimishije. Jya wita ku byo uwo mwashakanye akubwira ubivanye ku mutima. Nubwo ibyo bisaba ko umuntu aba akuze mu rugero runaka, bizagira akamaro

Jya ugaragaza ko ushishikajwe by’ukuri n’ibyo avuga: Gutega amatwi umuntu nta kindi bisaba uretse urukundo. Iyo ushishikajwe by’ukuri n’ibyo uwo mwashakanye avuga, kumutega amatwi birizana kandi bigatuma murushaho kuganira nk’uko musanzwe muganira.
Shyiraho Igitekerezo!

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